Many birthers are hesitant to hire a doula because of their partners. They either believe they don’t need support in addition to their partner, or they worry that their partner may feel replaced by a doula. But neither of these needs to be the case!
It’s been said that your partner knows you, and doulas know birth. Combining an expert on you and an expert on birth produces a dream support team! Here are a few ways doulas and partners can work together to make your birth experience incredible:
Doulas can coach partners – Doulas give suggestions and instruction to the partner on how to best provide support. For example, often I’ll suggest partner stands near the birther’s face and talk softly to her. But the partner is the one who knows best what to say. Doula and partner working together!
Doulas can reassure partners – Sometimes witnessing the intensity of the birth experience can create worry or anxiety in partners. Doulas can reassure partners that things are normal, and help them feel comfortable with the situation.
Doulas can give information – Even after taking childbirth classes, partners can feel at a loss in the emotion of the moment. Doulas can help partners and birthers go over pros and cons of various decisions that may arise during the birth process, helping partner to feel more confident.
Doulas can give partners a much-needed break – Many partners are very reluctant to take a break while the birther is experiencing the intensity of labor. But if partners don’t take care of themselves, they are less useful to the birther. Doulas can help partners feel more comfortable stepping away for a quick meal or nap, knowing that the birther is in good hands, and enabling them to recharge and thus provide better support for the birther when they return.
In practice, I have seen partners benefit time and time again from having a doula at the birth. I’ve never heard of a partner regretting hiring a doula.
